Wouldn't it be great if you, your family and friends had a holiday filled with festive times instead of frustrating ones --- delightful events instead of difficult occasions
--- memories of cherished moments instead of challenging encounters? Well, it is possible if you follow the ten tips below for having a stress-free holiday.

1. Avoid trying to do everything perfectly.
   Yes, we all want our holiday decorations to look beautiful; we want the food we prepare to be incredibly delicious, and we want the gifts we give
   to be great. However, wanting everything to be absolutely flawless creates unnecessary tension for you and everyone around you. So lighten up --- do you best, and don't worry about the rest.
2. Ask for help.
   Do not try to do everything yourself. There's no easier way to feel overwhelmed and resentful than to be the only one working while everyone else is watching TV, talking with each other, playing games, or enjoying themselves in some way. More can get done in a shorter amount of time if everyone works together. Plus, it's a lot more fun to do things like cooking and cleaning up when there is someone to help you and talk with while you are working.
   
   Don't pass up the opportunity to ask for help. Who knows? You just might be told a family story you never heard before. Or maybe you will learn something interesting about the person assisting you. Getting others to help is a great way to bond with them while avoiding the feeling of being inundated and stressed out.
3. Do not expect others to do things just like you would.
   If you decide to delegate holiday tasks or ask for help, understand that no two people do things exactly the same way. Be willing to accept others' efforts, even when they are different than yours. That can go a long way in making people feel appreciated. And, more than likely, they will be willing to help the next time you ask them.
   
   Also, you may learn other ways of doing things which are better or easier for you. In addition, realize what's most important is that the task gets completed. Hopefully these thoughts can prevent you from getting stressed and frustrated when something is not done the "right way" (which is usually "your way").
4. Be flexible.
   While it may be important to keep your holiday traditions, it is also good to be open to doing things differently. For example, if you always prepare the same foods for your holiday dinner, why not try a new dish just to see how everyone likes it? You can also try new activities that might add variety to the family experience, like singing carols, telling stories, or even playing games. After all, there is more to the holidays than just eating and opening presents.
5. Don't procrastinate.
   If you wait until the last minute to decorate, send cards, shop, wrap gifts, cook, clean, and make calls to loved ones, then you are bound to feel a great deal of pressure to get everything done in time. It's much better to start early and do a little bit every day so that you are not overwhelmed at the eleventh hour.
   
   Plan to prioritize what needs to be done first. Which is more important to you: decorating the house or sending out cards? Make a choice and stick with that particular project until it is completed. Then you can mark it off your list and move on to the next task. Remember things usually take longer than we think. Slowly but surely everything can get done if you start early. In the end, you will feel a great sense of accomplishment and be more relaxed as well.
6. Do not over-commit.
   The holidays bring with them many invitations and requests. Before saying you will do something or be somewhere, review your calendar and consider all the things you have already planned. Think about how the new activity will make you feel. Will you find it rewarding and worth your time or will you resent going because you feel rushed to get there or stressed to leave in time for another engagement?
   
   Your time is valuable. It is a commodity you can never get back, so carefully think about how you will spend it. Consider agreeing only to go places and do things that you will enjoy or feel are worthwhile. And remember, not every hour of the holiday needs to be filled with activities; take time to relish the season by relaxing and finding pleasure in non-busy moments.
7. Remember it is better to give than receive.
   As children we are usually only focused on what gifts we will receive. But as we grow and mature, we should become more likely to consider what makes other people happy. There can be a great deal of pleasure in giving a thoughtful gift which you picked out especially with that person in mind. These presents need not be grand, like expensive jewelry or luxurious clothes. They can be small thoughtfully selected gifts, like a book by a favorite author or a CD by a beloved artist. Whatever they are, when we shift our focus from receiving to giving, we are expressing the spirit of the holidays.
8. Practice patience.
   Just because you have to wait doesn't mean you have to stress. Yes, being patient is difficult when there are lines at the post office and even longer ones at the stores. But remember everyone there is in the same situation that you are. So take a deep breath, and be kind and considerate of others.
   
   While waiting, sometimes it helps to strike up a pleasant conversation with others on line, if they are interested. Or pass the time by reading the book or listening to the I-Pod you brought just in case you found yourself waiting. Also, when embarking on time-consuming activities, make sure you have no deadlines or other places to be. By doing so, it can be easier to be patient with all the crowds you will encounter.
9. Be grateful.
   A key to happiness in life is to feel thankful for the many blessings that you have. These may include good health, plenty of food, wonderful friends, a safe place to live, etc. At times we may take these for granted, but they can be things that many people do not have.
   
   It is easy to get caught in the trap of being envious of what others have or receive as gifts. If you find yourself entertaining such thoughts, take a moment to shift your thinking and instead, be truly grateful for everything that you do have.
10. Be of value to others.
    There are many worthwhile causes you can volunteer for involving those less fortunate, like the homeless, elderly, orphaned, etc. When we help others, we are practicing the "reason for the season." This saying is more than just mere words. Whatever your faith, belief, or spirituality, you can find a greater purpose at this time of the year when you are giving either your time, your money, or both to assist others.
    
    There is more to this season than shopping, cooking, eating, socializing, wrapping presents, and opening gifts. The true spirit of the holidays gives us the opportunity to be of value to others. So plan to do something to help those in need.

"Happy Holidays" is not just a phrase used in greeting cards or said warmly to others. It can actually be a reality for you by following the ten tips above.


Wishing you and yours a very Happy Holiday and a very Happy New Year!

Donna Satchell, President of STARR Consulting & Training is a speaker, trainer and author.  She provides programs in customer service, team-building, time management, public speaking as well as motivational speeches which inspire individuals to live more successful lives.  Please visit www.JustGetSerious.com for information about products and services as well as to view videos of Donna’s speeches.  Contact her at 770-498-0400 or Donna@JustGetSerious.com.

Copyright 2006-2007 - Donna Satchell   All rights reserved. 

Permission is granted to reprint this article provided this bio and contact information are included in the publication and a copy of the published article is sent to Donna@JustGetSerious.com.